Okay, mes amis . . . . I am going to speak my speak on a matter of importance for today. To lead the proper spiritual life one must be well-grounded. I recommend going directly to your prie-dieu before you change out of your nightgown -- you have one, don't you? Start the day with good intentions. Perhaps read a prayer, and think of what good works you intend for this day. Dedicate it to The Boss (NOT the one in New Jersey, mind you, chers!)
Your selection of lingerie should be always correct. For daily use, I recommend the proper lingerie color to be white; even though in a well-ordered world no one will see it, you should nevertheless don this symbolic garb of nether virtue to represent the daily purity that you wish ultimately to live today.
Granny panties are for those aspiring to the sisterhood; bikini bottoms are okay, but not string bikini panties! A bra should always be worn, even if you have meager assets. (Having more assets may be one of the spiritual rewards for having lived righteously; aspire to at least a B cup metaphorically, for this is New Orleans and we're relaxed about those things.) The Christian woman should avoid lace trim as a vanity, and especially should avoid colored trim as it symbolizes being still committed to the way of the world.
If you must wear a sheer blouse, then be sure to wear a camisole so as not to make your bra visible. And, obviously, don't wear a black or red bra or camisole under a sheer blouse! Geesh, when you have to have a prophetess tell you that, you need basic instruction! Well, okay, Isaiah disn't cover this, either.
Thongs? These are not advised. I tried wearing one -- I spent the whole day being reminded that I was wearing one. This served as a distraction from spiritual development and uplifting thoughts, which should be our primary focus.
Ladies, I suggest that you get your lingerie in order. Throw out with no exceptions the erotic, the boldly colored, the vain, the nonspiritual lingerie and wear only that appropriate for the pure of heart.
Finally, collect your remaining undies (other than the set you are currently wearing, and take them to the priest for an underwear blessing each year! Don't ask a Dominican, though; the priest as St. Leroy's is more willing to help you be grounded in your undies!
[A question from the audience] "Prophetess, are there acceptable occasions for wearing colored lingerie?"
[Thinking] . . . . Well, if LSU is playing, then wearing purple and gold underwear is acceptable. And I always wear Mardi Gras colors on Mardi
Gras day. Sometimes it's okay to laissez les bon temps rouler!" Also, I do have a pink polka-dotted set to help me when I'm feeling less than feminine.
Your selection of lingerie should be always correct. For daily use, I recommend the proper lingerie color to be white; even though in a well-ordered world no one will see it, you should nevertheless don this symbolic garb of nether virtue to represent the daily purity that you wish ultimately to live today.
Granny panties are for those aspiring to the sisterhood; bikini bottoms are okay, but not string bikini panties! A bra should always be worn, even if you have meager assets. (Having more assets may be one of the spiritual rewards for having lived righteously; aspire to at least a B cup metaphorically, for this is New Orleans and we're relaxed about those things.) The Christian woman should avoid lace trim as a vanity, and especially should avoid colored trim as it symbolizes being still committed to the way of the world.
If you must wear a sheer blouse, then be sure to wear a camisole so as not to make your bra visible. And, obviously, don't wear a black or red bra or camisole under a sheer blouse! Geesh, when you have to have a prophetess tell you that, you need basic instruction! Well, okay, Isaiah disn't cover this, either.
Thongs? These are not advised. I tried wearing one -- I spent the whole day being reminded that I was wearing one. This served as a distraction from spiritual development and uplifting thoughts, which should be our primary focus.
Ladies, I suggest that you get your lingerie in order. Throw out with no exceptions the erotic, the boldly colored, the vain, the nonspiritual lingerie and wear only that appropriate for the pure of heart.
Finally, collect your remaining undies (other than the set you are currently wearing, and take them to the priest for an underwear blessing each year! Don't ask a Dominican, though; the priest as St. Leroy's is more willing to help you be grounded in your undies!
[A question from the audience] "Prophetess, are there acceptable occasions for wearing colored lingerie?"
[Thinking] . . . . Well, if LSU is playing, then wearing purple and gold underwear is acceptable. And I always wear Mardi Gras colors on Mardi
Gras day. Sometimes it's okay to laissez les bon temps rouler!" Also, I do have a pink polka-dotted set to help me when I'm feeling less than feminine.
15 comments:
This is completely off the wall,even for the internet.
This is very complicated for us members of the male gender. For us, the rules are: (1) Are there any holes? (2) Okay. However, we do very much appreciate the effort invested by ladies in the selection and appropriate display of their undies. On behalf of men everywhere, I thank you.
Nice, gentle satire on people who are religious. Even the religious should appreciate her humor.
What would the Prophetess say about cut-out panties and bras with holes for the nipples to protrude?
Cut-out panties should be discarded. Bras with nipple holes are for Yankee Protestants.
Mlle. Prophetess would say that the panties are not for display, but for spiritual grounding, Bilbo.
Thank you, Elvis.
I take that as a compliment, bakku-shan.
I respect a prophetess who wears pink panties.
Why not take the advice of a prophetess on panties. Better than an iman or a minister.
You said something about thongs. I missed the rest.
Apparently The Prophetess has never gone commando and enjoyed the cool tail wind.
I like the absurd sense of humor in this.
Nice story. I don't thik it would offend the religious.
I liked the story.
Post a Comment